I have 3 weeks, 3 days until my annual epic summer birthday beach vacation in Avon, N.C.

Last year was evacuated and cut short due to Hurricane Earl. Happy 30th! Now go home.

Dear Universe, I am working hard. I am feeding the people. You owe me. I demand sub-90 temperatures immediately, and a tropical-system-free 31st birthday later. (I don’t ask much.)

I’ll figure all that bill shit out later. Let’s do this.